The Honeymoon Effect #4: Exquisitely Balanced Noble Gases

Hello Mill Valley Book Club! Today let’s wrap up Dr. Bruce Lipton’s The Honeymoon Effect. Because this book seems to have sparked special interest among my readers, next month we’ll take one more step on this track with Pam Grout’s E Squared: Nine Do-It-Yourself Energy Experiments That Prove Your Thoughts Create Your Reality. Pam’s book will do more than give you the tools to test out your own experience of reality; it also teaches you how to create your life deliberately. Let’s have some fun with it!

I also want you to know that starting in November, I’ll be publishing only once a month with a longer post, instead of weekly, shorter posts.  This is to make time for a few new projects in my life.  I remain grateful that you tune in, and I look forward to continuing to share with you my thoughts about what I think are the coolest non-fiction books out there related to the path to wholeness!

Now back to The Honeymoon Effect! Today, we’re looking at the end goal to what may seem like an arduous process of walking the path to wholeness. The goal is to become a peaceful person, reaching that stable ground state of equanimity that enables us to fully and joyfully experience the richness of life. Last week, we explored the powerful, and often destructive, impact our subconscious mind has on our quest for peace. Moving that obstacle out of the way is a critical step in the process of becoming whole.

Bruce’s metaphor for this stable ground state is a noble gas, a term from chemistry describing an element that is so perfectly in balance on its own that it never needs to bond with another atom to achieve stability. And in Chapter 5 of The Honeymoon Effect, Bruce describes how noble gases reach their full potential. We’ll get to that soon.

Noble Gases

First, let’s consider some basic chemistry. An atom of chlorine has 17 protons (positive charge) in the nucleus and 17 electrons (negative charge), distributed into three outer shells. The first two outer shells are filled to maximum capacity, and chlorine’s third outer shell has seven out of eight spaces filled with electrons. On its own, it spins with a wobble, needing one more electron in its outermost shell to achieve balance. Bruce explains it’s like a washing machine with a big load of towels that collect on one side of the spinner: add the weight of the water and your washing machine walks across the floor!

But once a chlorine atom hooks up with a sodium atom, also wobbly on its own with 11 protons in its nucleus and 11 electrons distributed into three outer shells, the two joined together spin in perfect harmony and balance. Chlorine’s seven outermost electrons bond with sodium’s one outermost electron, and together they form a stable substance – salt.

Noble gases are atoms that, in contrast, have just the right number of protons and electrons to be in balance on their own. Argon, for example, has 18 protons in its nucleus and 18 electrons that perfectly and completely fill each of three outer shells. They need not bond with any other atoms to achieve stability.

This is an apt analogy for people. Very few of us are born as noble gases, spinning in perfect balance our whole lives. Mostly, we are an atom of chlorine or sodium, looking for a life partner to bring us harmony, peace, joy, and the life of our dreams. Many times we discover, though, that another person cannot make us a noble gas, for they do not have the power to bring us into balance. This is a job we must do ourselves.

Because of conventional familial and cultural parenting practices that are less than optimal, almost all of us are, to a certain degree, psychologically “unbalanced.” As imbalanced individuals, we have a tendency to do the same thing that atoms do – we seek a complementary partner who is out of balance as well. When two partners complement each other’s imbalances, together they can spin “harmoniously” with no wobbles.

While our conscious minds seek partnership with individuals who fulfill our wishes and desires, our subconscious minds are unconsciously seeking individuals who possess traits that complement our personal, but unobserved, imbalances. In an example of an extreme codependent relationship, sadists who love to inflict pain seek pair bonding with masochists who derive pleasure from receiving pain. – The Honeymoon Effect, Chapter 5

As Bruce describes in his book, when we are a sodium atom somewhat happily bonded to a chlorine atom, we do achieve a kind of codependent balance in life that seems good. But this is not the end of the road. The true goal of our lives is for each of us individually to become a noble gas, needing no other atom to make us whole.

Once we’re a noble gas, we don’t live happily ever after by ourselves in solitude. But we engage in relationships not because we need someone to complete us, but because we want to experience life with this other independent person by our side. Already endowed with our own personal state of inner balance and harmony, we choose relationships that bring us joy and love, and allow us to give the same in return – the honeymoon effect.

Excimers and Lasers

In this book, Bruce describes another special characteristic of noble gases. Here we see the life that is possible for us once we achieve noble gas status:

[Noble gases have the] ability to form excimers. An excimer, short for “excited dimer,” is a special bonding association between two atoms that would not be bound together in their normal state. When a noble gas atom is hit by a photon of light, its “normal” state is profoundly altered. The atom absorbs the photon’s energy and begins to vibrate faster because of its higher level of energy. Simply, an “enlightened” noble gas atom becomes “excited.”

A noble gas atom in an excited state will seek bonding, partnership with another noble gas atom so it can share that excitement… energized noble gas atoms are like people primed and ready for selfless love, a world of sharing and caring. By reworking my imbalanced subconscious programs, I believe I had become an “excited boy” spinning in balance when Margaret [Bruce’s current wife] eventually appeared in my life and we created our still enduring Happily Ever After excimer.

The excited relationship of an excimer results in its emitting extra energy as another photon of light. Excimer couples glow! Under normal circumstances, the life span of a glowing, solitary excimer is rather short. However, if there are other noble gas atoms in the vicinity, they can absorb that emitted photon and become excited themselves, which means excimers can lead to the creation of more excimers. This excitable characteristic of noble gases led to the development of the laser. – The Honeymoon Effect, Chapter 5

Bruce’s point here is that by becoming a noble gas ourselves, then joining together with another noble gas to form an excimer, we can have an incredibly positive effect on other people around us, converting more and more noble gases into excimers, all creating their own honeymoon effect and eventually transforming the lives of our entire society into a state of cooperation and joy that benefits all.

Where Are We Now?

Although almost all of us are going along fairly well as a sodium or chlorine atom, some of us joined with a counterpart and spinning somewhat in balance, the journey of life is about becoming a noble gas. It’s about walking the path to wholeness, moving ourselves ever closer to a ground state of inner peace. And then the stage is set for the fireworks of the honeymoon effect – which is a deep, beautiful, rich experience of all that life has to offer.

Dr. Bruce Lipton is one of those inspiring people who courageously shared his personal story of triumph over adversity in The Honeymoon Effect. Although he mostly experienced great success in educational and professional arenas, he suffered a great deal in his relationships. After realizing that his own subconscious beliefs were the culprit for his emotional pain, and reprogramming his subconscious mind, he is now savoring every moment as the architect and creator of the life of his dreams.

Bruce is a noble gas, and he is happily married to another noble gas, Margaret, a woman he met after a divorce and many short-term relationships. Neither was born as a noble gas. Together they are now an excimer, carrying out their life’s work to inspire other noble gases to form excimers and transform our planet. In the epilogue of the book, you can read about their lives before they became noble gases, how they found each other, how they worked together to create the relationship and lives of their dreams, and what their life is like now – pretty amazing, attainable, and so inspiring!

I’m extremely grateful to people like Bruce Lipton, who’ve successfully processed through some of the same issues in life I feel I am facing. This gives me hope that it is possible to reach that destination of inner peace.  Bruce transformed himself from a lone sodium or chlorine atom into a noble gas, bonded with another noble gas to form an excimer, and now serves within a powerful laser – along with Margaret and a community of other excimers – making good things happen in the world. I’ve found it incredibly helpful to read about his own story and roadmap as a hand extended back to me.

Does any of this ring true for you? Tell me what it’s like for you, in the comments below or in a private email to ! I’d love to hear from you!

With love,




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