The Honeymoon Effect #2: How Our Thoughts Create Our Reality

Hello Mill Valley Book Club! Thank you so much for being here! I’m so excited to explore with you Dr. Bruce Lipton’s The Honeymoon Effect! This week, I’ll explain more of the mechanics of how our thoughts and beliefs translate into our experience of daily life. We’ll also take a look at the chemicals inside our body that correspond to the excitement of new love. This is important because once we recognize this honeymoon effect happening in our lives (and it happens not just in our relationships, but also in the endeavors we pursue), we can learn how to create that experience whenever we choose.

Next week, we’ll examine the incredible power of our subconscious mind – the part of us actively in charge of our lives more than 90% of the time! Remember from last week that the energy projecting out to the world from our thoughts draws more of the same vibration of energy to it? So whatever you think is what you bring into your experience.

The big news here is that, unfortunately, scientists now believe that our subconscious mind often prevents our greatest wishes from manifesting by issuing forth thoughts that contradict our conscious positivity. So we need to explore how this works and find a way around that trap. We’ll also see how our subconscious mind got programmed in the first place, and what we can do to reprogram it if we would prefer different beliefs, ones that will give us a better experience of life.

Energetic Vibrations 101

Let’s start at the beginning. Quantum physicists today suggest that a vast, invisible, interconnected web of energy exists all around us all of the time. You’ve heard of good vibes and bad vibes: good vibes make you feel warm and fuzzy; bad vibes make your skin crawl. Notice that we feel vibes. We don’t see, hear, taste, or touch them. We sense them.

So the key here is tuning into the way someone or something makes you feel. Some call this your emotional guidance system. When something or someone makes us feel good, it’s called constructive interference. This is like meeting someone who excites, energizes, and inspires you. This is also how I feel when I tuck my kids into bed at night, giving them a big hug and feeling that love when they squeeze me back.

In quantum physics, constructive interference means that the waves of energy you project synchronize with the waves of energy you receive from an object or person, and you both experience the sum total of both of your energies combined. The honeymoon effect describes the phenomenon when constructive interference is unbelievably great. Your energetic waves combine with that other person’s or object’s energetic waves to produce a gigantic wave much larger than each of your individual waves. This explains the high you feel in fresh, new love (remember that giddy, “I can’t eat” feeling?), and we’ll find out soon what happens inside your body, biochemically, to produce that physical feeling. You might also experience the honeymoon effect when you discover the job of your dreams, or you’re working on a project that you can’t wait to get back to each morning. It’s what you’re doing when you somehow don’t even notice time passing by.

We also experience destructive interference when the waves of energy we project are not synchronous with those of the other person or object. The net result is that the energy of each cancels the energy of the other out, resulting in an absence of energy. This is like meeting another person who exhausts you or someone you find yourself continually at odds with. Obviously, this is something we’d rather not experience.

In addition to perceiving energetic data, we also broadcast it outward via our thoughts. Our brain generates and responds to energy fields that can influence cell behavior and genetic expression, even altering perception, mood, and behavior. This happens when the mind takes in environmental data, perceives it, and interprets it. It then releases neuropeptides and neurotransmitters within the body that control cell activity, in a formula that corresponds to the emotions stirred up by the mind’s interpretation of that environmental data. The behavioral choices we then make in response stem directly from our perceptions and thoughts. This is mostly happening at a subconscious level – on auto-pilot.  And to close the circle of our daily experience of reality, the thoughts we broadcast outward then seek an energetic match in the people and experiences we encounter, drawing to us whatever vibration we’re projecting.

So Many Choices – Choose Consciously!

You could view the experience of life as a giant grab-bag of choices. If you pay attention to each person and thing you encounter, noticing how each makes you feel, you’ll see that some bring you good vibes and others bring you bad vibes. What brings me good vibes might do just the opposite to my best friend. There are no wrong or right vibes; what’s critical is for each one of us to identify the people and experiences in life that bring us good vibes, with the allowance that this formula will be unique for each person. To live a life you can’t wait to wake up to each morning, you make choices that fill your life with the things that make you feel good.

And if you find yourself, at times, caught in a stream of negativity – the people and events happening in your life – unfortunately, the attention we focus on negativity continues to attract more of the same to us. The key to turning to something more positive is to recognize the negative situation, feel the desire for something more positive, and then to use your imagination or memory to project the thought and feeling of something more positive. Your brain can’t distinguish between thoughts that arise through your imagination/memory and those that come in response to outside stimuli.  So thinking about something even slightly happier will turn the tide, and each successive improvement gives rise to better and better circumstances.

Love Potions

Now let’s look at what’s happening inside your body. When you spend time with someone you enjoy, your brain releases feel-good chemicals into your bloodstream that bathe all of your cells in a healthy formula. Let’s look at the biochemistry of love:

The brain resembles a paint mixing machine. Rather than blending different color tints, the brain is a love potion mixing machine stocked with an array of neurochemicals and hormones that researchers have linked to the biochemistry of love. In the throes of first passion, your brain can order up “passion red” by squirting lots of drops of testosterone into the mix. That went well, so your brain orders up “lovesick pink” with lots of dopamine that motivates the pursuit of more pleasure with the object of your desire. When you’re convinced you’ve found the One your brain orders up love-of-my-life lavender, a mix heavy on the bonding boosters vasopressin and oxytocin and shockingly low on serotonin, which means you’re getting more and more fixated on and obsessed with your True Love. When you defy the divorce/miserable relationship odds and shift into Happily Ever After, the brain mixes up still-crazy-in-love blue with a huge squirt of the cuddle chemical oxytocin. – The Honeymoon Effect, Chapter 3

Ahhh… so that’s what was happening inside my body when I first fell in love. Good to know! So now what?

To activate the honeymoon effect in all areas of your life, you sample different experiences and find the ones that please you.  Some even give you goosebumps (in a really good way). In the course of my life, I’ve noticed that the feeling of goosebumps is pretty rare – that’s the honeymoon effect. So when it happens, I really pay attention, taking note that this is something special I want to amplify and bring into my life as much as possible. I do this by dedicating some time each day (10 or 15 minutes) to imagining that good feeling again. This projects positive, high frequency vibrations into the invisible web of energy, just looking for a match. The web responds by delivering other people and experiences of equally high energy, and voila!

So why is it that most people can’t seem to make this process work? Why can’t we make our dreams real?  One explanation is that there’s a big, invisible force blocking the way.  It’s your subconscious mind.  Next week, I’ll explain how your subconscious mind operates and why it blocks the life of your dreams.  I hope that once you have access to this information, you’ll consider some strategies to move your subconscious mind out of the way.

In the meantime, try a little experiment. Take notice of some of the people you encounter and how they make you feel. What thoughts course through your mind as a result? Notice any trends of positivity or negativity and try to pinpoint what may have caused them.  As always, I’d love to hear from you in the comments to the blog or in a private email to !

With love,


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